101123

Joke of the Day

"Here in the Middle East, we don't need any weed We have the Quran. Burning that shit will get your ass stoned."

"What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a dog? A hen that lays pooched eggs."

"Q: How old is Tyrion Lannister? A: Peter Dinkl-age"

"This really crashes my belief system. Hilary Clinton spent 40 years building up her career to lose presidency to a man who picked up politics as a hobby last year."

"[interview at Bass Pro Shops] So, tell me a little about yourself. Me: *dressed in camouflage* Wait, you can see me?!"

"My VW Beetle can't deliver when I want a ""GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY"" honk. It's all, ""Hi! Let's get a latte after you move just a smidge!"""

"Mount Rushmore looks like an old boy band that now wants to be taken seriously as musicians."

"Is it bad to feel the need to finish off prescription drugs before they expire? I don't have most of these ailments but they were expensive"

"[NSFW] What do a pizza delivery person and a gynecologist have in common? They both get to smell it, but can't eat it."

"[CAVE] BABY DRAGON: Dad, I hate trolls! They are disgusting, evil creatures! DAD DRAGON: Just push them aside and eat your vegetables son."