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Joke of the Day

"American: I was just at a shotgun wedding Me: How far pregnant was the bride? American: You English are insane Shotguns can't get pregnant"

"I don't always tell mom jokes But when i do, she laughs"

"What is the correct way to refer to an OP who resides in Europe? The Continental OP."

"How did Hitler like his orange juice? Concentrated."

"Three cookies were crossing the road when the first one was knocked down. What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety? Crumbs!"

"I totally had gender with a girl. #thesaurus"

"So Helen Keller walks into a bar . . . . . . then she walks into a table, she knocks over a lamp, barks her shins on the ottoman, spills a drink . . . it's fine I'll show myself out."

"I feel bad for all these athletes training for the Olympics in 2016 since we're all gonna die in 2012"

"What's better than eating a mandarin? Eating a manda-out."

"Broke my make-up mirror this morning. I thought people would say 7 yrs of bad luck but mostly it's been, ""Your eyeliner is really crooked."""