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Joke of the Day

"A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good."

"My dad smeared glue all over his Uzi, and he say's his Glock is next. He can't be talked out of it. He's sticking to his guns."

"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."

"AIN'T NO PARTY LIKE A WINDOWS 7 PARTY 'CAUSE A WINDOWS 7 PARTY DON'T STFILE \$win_nt$.~bt\NTKRNLMP.EXE cannot be open error 7"

"The Bible says Jesus used a whip to drive out the money lenders... I wonder if they called it his ""Miracle Whip""?"

"A dyslexic guy walked into a bra."

"Got bored last night and tried looking up the spanish translation of ""do not use"", but it ended up being no use."

"Growing up, I had a best friend. When we first met we didn't see eye to eye, but then he grew on me."

"If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them."

"Why do women get yeast infections? So they can know how it feels to live with an irritating cunt!"