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Joke of the Day

"What's the cheat code for Friday?"

"I used to get my dad so angry as a kid. I knew that once he took that belt off there was nothing i could do... to keep him from shooting heroin"

"Duct tape is like the Force It has a light side, a dark side and it holds the universe together."

"I went to the doctors the other day. I said ""every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm!"" ""Have you been taking anything for it?"" He asked. ""Yeah, pepper"""

"Fact. The average man thinks about sex every tits seconds."

"Firing Squad 2 men lined against a wall ready to be shot by a fireing squad..""have you any last requests""says the soldier...Yes says the man..can we stand behind the wall..."

"How is a lonely twig like a piece of cling wrap? He can only stick to himself."

"Why don't Jews play basketball? Because even if they miss the shot, they still ask for change."

"YOU KNOW THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PAUL WALKER AND MY COMPUTER? I ACTUALLY GIVE A FUCK WHEN MY COMPUTER CRASHES."

"Did you hear about the guy who made his wife a necklace out of crystal meth? I hear it was pretty dope."