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Joke of the Day

"If you're upset about seeing a middle finger on TV, you're going to sh!t yourself when you see everything else going on in the world."

"What do you call a black guy flying a plane? You call him a pilot you fucking racist."

"Baby, give me that couch.. .. cause I need some sectional healing!"

"What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon? Tennish."

"What did the police officer want from the criminal store? Just ice."

"Using what sexual position often causes a couple to have an ugly baby? I don't know, ask your mom."

"That moment when you're going to stalk someone and you end up stalking 5 more people because you need to understand the whole conversation."

"Boy are people gonna be upset when they find out the God Particle is black..."

"I`m not working for Blackberry... But I`ve got a RIM job."

"If Pokemon has taught me anything it's that if I see a cute animal I should force my cat to fight it until it's weak enough to enslave."