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Joke of the Day

"If Pokemon has taught me anything it's that if I see a cute animal I should force my cat to fight it until it's weak enough to enslave."

"What kind of dog did Jesus own a holy shih-tzu"

"I like my beer how I like my violence.. Domestic"

"If a blonde and a brunette jump off a bridge, who would hit the ground first? The brunette, the blonde would stop for directions!"

"Robert Downey Jr. went on a trip to the Virgin Islands Now it's just called "" The Islands."""

"A Scotsman invented the first condom. It was made out of a sheep's intestine. Not too long after, the British improved on it by first removing the intestine from the sheep."

"If you stand in front of a mirror & repeat your top tweet 3X, your pretwitter self appears, smacks you & throws your phone in the toilet."

"Where did the mistletoe go to become rich and famous? Hollywood."

"Your mom fails so hard at life...[nsfw] I gave her a D out of sympathy."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. To be read: *seven ate nine*"