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Joke of the Day

"Q: How does a bull stay warm on a bitterly cold day? ... ... A: He goes into the barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey."

"Why is Santa always so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live."

"Ban land mines now! It's time to put our foot down."

"Instead of a condom i keep a moist towelette in my wallet because i run into buffalo wings alot more often than sex"

"Why are my jokes strikingly similar to your sperm? They're killed almost instantly by assholes."

"You know you've overplayed Mario Kart 64 when the next morning you Instinctively swerve to avoid a banana skin on the road."

"There's a restaurant in hell. Their food is to die for."

"Wouldst the genuine Slim Shady kindly arise?"

"Why's Guantanamo Bay full of actors? Because they all shot pilots."

"Politics isn't confusing. You have a choice of being screwed by one of two gorillas and one is considerate enough to use lube. Now choose."