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Joke of the Day

"Q: How does a bull stay warm on a bitterly cold day? ... ... A: He goes into the barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey."

"Jared should be okay in prison He is used to 6 inches."

"If you love someone, set them free. If you hate someone, set them on fire."

"[house hunting] Friend: *hurls spear into vinyl siding* GOT ONE! Me: *hacking at brick siding w/ sword* GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME!"

"Say what you will about deaf people..."

"What did Jesus say to Mohammed...? What did Jesus say to Mohammed? 'I died for you' What did Mohammed say in return? 'How many did you take with you?'"

"This is embarrassing. I tunneled through my wall to escape work and ended up in my boss's office. He's watching me tweet this. I'm fired."

"What's the difference between a tiger and a lion ? A tiger has the mane part missing !"

"If I were a dinosaur, I'd be a swagasaurus."

"Flight Attendant: ""Here is the extra blanket you asked for."" Me: ""Thanks. Could you jam it into that guy's mouth?"""