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Joke of the Day

"If you feel unsure about a new haircut, ask a man if it looks okay. But ask him many, many, many times. Never be satisfied with his answer."

"Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat? A. Because he was pissed off!"

"What does Saddam Hussein and little Miss Moffat have in common? They both had curds/Kurds in their whey/way!"

"Who is the bees favourite singer ? Sting !"

"I looked at a penny under the microscope. What I saw was magnificent."

"Floyd Mayweather got off again even when there was a video of him beating her. Because it was so boring the jury walked out half way through."

"When bears are around, try to look skinny and they won't eat you. If that doesn't work, kick your buddy in the nuts and RUN!"

"Do ten millipedes equal one centipede?"

"I just feel like you shouldn't be using a selfie stick unless you're a T-Rex."

"My girlfriend left me a roll of quarters for laundry today She told me to try to not blow it all on one load..."