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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a lad that put on his glasses? Seymour."

"Home Depot law decrees that if two dads are pushing carts down the same isle, the dad with the greater mustache has the right of way."

"Annoucement: At my funeral, all my tweets shall be recited. I will then haunt whomever leaves first, demanding honest feedback for eternity."

"I've received so many Christmas cards from people I don't know this year, probably because they weren't addressed to me."

"My neighbor's wife asked me if I wanted to help make her husband jealous... I said ""sure!"" and hung myself in the bedroom closet."

"It's hard to take Star Trek's vision of the future seriously since everyone's not constantly on Twitter."

"A naked woman robbed a bank.. Nobody could remember her face."

"What happened to the Oklahoma Territories? I don't know but they're OK now."

"What do Apple and Blackberry have in common? Neither one has Jobs."

"I have an archaeology exam tomorrow And it doesn't matter if I pass or fail because either way... My future's in ruins."