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Joke of the Day

"My grandfather died of asbestosis. Took 6 months to cremate him. This works better in person when you get the other person believing you first."

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"""One man's trash is another man's treasure."" is one way to tell your kid that they're adopted."
"I thought I'd lose tons more weight if I drank extra glasses of water every day, but I guess I was just diluting myself."
"Want to buy a pocket computer? No thanks I already know how many pockets I've got."
"romeo tells juliet she's fat"
"What does the Saudi Paralympics team consist of? thieves.."
"On the list of things I fear the most, ""death"" comes in as a close second to ""audience participation"""
"What does the emperor have when he goes for a sunday drive? he has Divine Right of way"
"Girl: I want bangs Me: I want a stylist to get my hair as close to antlers as possible. Make me look like a young prince of the wooded glen"
"Why did the cowboy get a dachshund? Because he wanted to get a long little doggy :)"
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