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Joke of the Day
"""One man's trash is another man's treasure."" is one way to tell your kid that they're adopted."
Next Joke
"Twenty-seven dollars is probably the most money that's ever been in a wallet with a chain attached to it."
"Whats the difference between God and Donald Trump? God doesn't think he is Donald Trump."
"I hired a hitman to kill the wife. He said, I'll shoot her just below the left nipple. I replied, I want her dead, Not fucking kneecapped"
"Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
"Was shopping for a toilet. Sales guy showed me the newest model they had in store. It uploads all my shit to Facebook."
"I regularly have gold plaques and 1st place ribbons made up for my liver so it knows just how much I appreciate all it's hard work."
"Why the patriots deflated 11 balls out of 12? because they knew the ""12"" will be deflated during/after Superbowl."
"What do doctors do with the foreskins from circumcisions? Sell them to gay guys as chewing gum."
"What was a doctors diagnosis of the victims involved in a pet van crash? Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Chameleon"