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Joke of the Day

"Boobs My wife has eczema all over her chest. She's got a cracking pair of boobs."

"My greek friend just got charged with necrophilia His name was Nick Fukadacarkas"

"The ex just asked me how can one have a soulmate if one has no soul? Wonder which of us he was referring to?"

"She texted me, ""your adorable."" I replied, ""No, YOU'RE adorable."" Now she's stalking me and all I did was point out her typo."

"Don't embarrass a guy by telling him his fly is open in public. Just be a man, walk over there, and slowly zip it up for him."

"Why do straight white girls always hang out in odd numbers? Because they literally can't even Like. Omg."

"I've just got my son a flat piece of cardboard for his birthday. I guess I'll never know why he so badly wanted an ex box."

"""Dad what IS the moon?"" It is cheese. Delicious cheese. Thats why rats come out at nite, to look at it. We must never let rats on the moon."

"One day a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly the blonde's friend said ""Oh look a dead birdie!"" The blonde looked up and said ""Where?"""

"""Hello, Police? I'd like to report an anonymous tip."" Me: Hello, Police? I'd like to report an anonymous tip. Dispatcher: Go ahead. Me: Flossing daily reduces your risk of tooth decay."