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Joke of the Day

"How do you make an egg roll? Push it"

"Microsoft has realized that all their products get better PR by naming it after Halo mythology. I'm expecting the next Windows version to be Windows 117."

"*affixes a second leash to a hot babes dog while shes tying her shoe* would you look at that. we have the exact same dog. this is incredible"

"Few people knew that Albert Einstein had a brother that was an evil scientist who created a monster from body parts. His name was Frank"

"My kids are young, so when they listen to old school music they think its new. They are currently listening to a hot new band called Queen."

"6yo: Wow you look much better already daddy! Will you be able to have the stitches out soon? Taxidermist: He will not"

"My wife and I have lost over 150lbs combined!!! ...hustling British casinos wasn't as easy as we'd hoped."

"A skeleton walks into a bar, he says, ""gimme a beer, and a mop."""

"I'm sorry, I don't have the energy to walk a mile in your shoes. I'm just going to go ahead & judge you."

"I hate those Russian dolls They're so full of themselves."