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Joke of the Day

"""Doctor, tell me, if I quit drinking will, will I live longer?"" ""It will definitely feel longer. """

"Did you hear about the guy that could not afford personalized license plates? He changed his name to JLU 635."

"What do you call a dog that wisely saves money for retirement? A 401(K-9)."

"Sean Connery is standing at your door, wearing white shorts and a white shirt and holding a racket. What time is it? Tennish."

"Gin & Tonic: 91 calories. Banana: 105 calories. Choosing the healthy option: Priceless."

"What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High definition Edit: Thanks Reddit for the upvotes, I'm glad you guys finally liked something that I posted. Thanks internet!"

"Why don't black people dream? The last black man to have a dream got shot."

"Fool me once... Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thirty five thousand six hundred times, shame on the weatherman."

"""Grandma why don't you drink tea anymore?"" ""I don't like it ever since that tea bag got stuck in my throat."""

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter kek"