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Joke of the Day

"Fool me once... Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thirty five thousand six hundred times, shame on the weatherman."

"Just printed out 50 copies of today's weather forecast to carry around with me today because I'm just not in the mood for small talk."

"Do I believe in climate change? Uhh yeah I believe... it DOESN'T EXIST AHH HAHA (a fiery gull falls out of the sky) HAhaha hey fire bird"

"Why couldn't the dyslexic plantation owner get anything done? Gingers just don't last in the sun."

"God invented co-workers to remind us that dying alone wouldn't be such a bad thing."

"What do you call a gay assassin? Ass ass in"

"An undertaker says to a bereaved husband When did you realise your wife was dead?' Well,' he replies, the sex was the same but the dishes just kept piling up...' from Internet."

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Steve Martin"

"Wearing transition lenses is a great way to block out the sun & anyone from wanting to be friends with you."

"I'd tell a chemestry joke but I'm afraid I wouldn't get a reaction."