99862

Joke of the Day

"If a cannibal kills me he better have the right kind of Zip-loc bags! If I get tossed out because of freezer burn I'm going to be pissed!"

"why yes i studied sports medicine at the university of phoenix. *puts stethoscope on basketball, nods*"

"So I took a practice test on photons today... It didn't matter."

"I borrowed money from a pessimist because he doesn't expect me to pay him back"

"What does a crook see with? Burglarize"

"Why is Jennie McCarthy so bad at RPG's? The last time her son had a healing potion he lost 15 IQ Points."

"Where did Jimmy go after the explosion? Everywhere."

"Why can't a T-Rex clap it's hands? Because it's dead"

"TIL that it is difficult to be a good person as there is only so small a distance between an asshole and a pussy."

"What lands as often on its tail as it does its head? A penny."