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Joke of the Day

"Where did Jimmy go after the explosion? Everywhere."

"Me: So you're an Atheist? Him: Yup! Me: So what year is it? Him: 2015 Me: based on how years are counted after a certain birth?"

"Where do holy men sleep? Monk beds."

"Anytime I go to the doctors I feel so ripped off. Whatever my complaint is, it's always the same damn advice: ""Lay off the methamphetamine."""

"Why is there cotton in medicine bottles? To remind black people they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers."

"I think a cool anti-hero would be Aeon Netflux ...except during fights she would stop every 2 minutes to ""rebuffer"", and her selection of moves would be extremely limited."

"Why can't a blonde dial 911 ? She can't find the eleven."

"How do you get out of Sunday school? You tell your mom you're Sikh."

"For everyone in the working world today: It's a Tuesday... ...which is like a Monday but with steel-toed boots and a slightly lower aim."

"What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? A key"