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Joke of the Day

"A feminist told me I really need to take a Women's Studies class. I told her ""There is no way I'm going to spend a semester studying a broad."""

"A black shape emerges from your attic; all you can see are claws. You've made $4000 in 30 minutes working from home, but at what cost?"

"I've got washboard abs. As soon as I can find someone with clay-jug abs and someone with jews-harp abs, we can get started on our old-timey-hobo-band abs."

"I think my cat is using me for my money I mean the sex is great, but I just don't feel an emotional connection."

"Jessica Simpson had her baby. Apparently, Kanye busted into the delivery room and said Beyonce had the best baby of all time."

"Growing up, I dreamed of becoming a meteorologist. Now, I've got 3 weather apps on my phone. Living the dream, people."

"Pope John Paul is being sainted. What a snub to Pope George Ringo."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but no one knows how they got in there."

"2 blondes were walking along a beach when one said, ""Look! A dead bird!"" The other looked up."

"My Friend Has A Dyslexic Skin Condition My friend has a dyslexic skin condition. He wears his blood on his sleeve."