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Joke of the Day

"I think my cat is using me for my money I mean the sex is great, but I just don't feel an emotional connection."

"Why are gay guys so good at moving? They are used to getting their shit packed"

"What do you call the hairiest man in the camp? Jewbacca"

"Ever since I became a vampire I've been too ashamed to even look at myself in the mirror"

"Time for a limerick... On the first date with her new man, Keith Young Pamela let out a queef. He tried to ignore That she's surely a whore But at least her bjs had no teeth!"

"A girl to her friend... ""isn't that guy hot? I am gonna ask him out"" ""he doesn't look good when he laugh"" - said the other girl ""don't worry, he won't laugh anymore"""

"Want to hear a short joke and a long joke? Joke, Joooooooke!"

"So I called my boss this morning. I said ""Hey boss, what's the difference between this morning and your daughter?"" He replied, ""I don't know. What?"" ""I won't be coming in this morning."""

"What did one German baker say to the other? Glutentag!"

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer! I don't know what he laced them with, *but I have been tripping all day*."