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Joke of the Day
"Why was the clumsy vegetable farmer a good dj? Because he dropped the beet."
Next Joke
"There's no logical reason for shorts to be the same price as pants."
"Did you hear about the arm that tells jokes? They're actually quite humerus"
"What happens when doughnuts join a sorority? They have to go through the glazing. I'm sorry I'm a baker it just came to me... Pun-ishment is in order."
"finally got to see someone in my facebook feed react to an onion article as if it were real news. today was a big day."
"One blonde says to another, ""I slept with a Brazilian last night"". The other blonde says, ""Wow, how many is that""?"
"APOCALYPSE SURVIVOR: ""We must conserve resources. Only people with useful skills! What's yours?"" ME: ""I write and want to dir--"" ""GUNSHOT*"
"What do they call the doctor who released private health information after he got mad at his being given away? A Hipaacrite"
"its always terifying when im alone in my apartment and i hear a small child's voice say ""hello"" becuase i dread making smalltalk"
"whoreplacedmyspacebarwithaclappingemojiIneedtofinishmypaperstonightpleasehelpme"