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Joke of the Day

"What happens when doughnuts join a sorority? They have to go through the glazing. I'm sorry I'm a baker it just came to me... Pun-ishment is in order."

"Dad, Why was Mahatma Gandhi bald ""Because he always spoke the truth"" ""Oh! That's why woman have long hair"""

"I like my women how I like my coffee Lactose-free and 2%."

"A man, his wife and a son find a genie and get 3 wishes. Son: a hamster! Dad: fuck hamster! Mom: don't fuck the hamster!"

"[catching breath at friends house] I was being chased by a bike cop so I threw up a left turn signal but actually turned right and it worked"

"What do computers eat when they get hungry? Chips."

"If you were a stand-up comic, and you're doing a show for a family at a funeral. What would you're opening line be? Like outrageous, dark, funny whatever let's hear!"

"You'd be surprised at all the discounts you get when you come in swinging a sword!"

"I asked my mother who was her favorite child... She thought for a second and said, ""Do I have to pick one of mine?"""

"Chicken and an egg are lying in bed together Chicken looks at the egg and says ""Well that answered the question!"""