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Joke of the Day

"I always look for the best looking cashier at the supermarket and always end up at the self checkout lane"

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"What Kind Of Bagel Can Fly? A Plain Bagel."
"I painted my iPhone black so it would run faster. Now I need to jailbreak it."
"What do you call a ghost who only haunts the Town Hall? The nightmayor."
"[sexy time] Me: Let me be your fantasy. Him: It's a Star Wars thing. Me: Say no more. *leaves* *comes back dressed as Yoda*"
"What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller."
"What file turns a 1mm hole into a 10mm hole? A paedophile."
"My poop very recently stopped being imaginary. Shit just got real."
"Why is it called a 'dad-bod' and not a 'father-figure'?"
"Got an MRI. Nurse asked if I had bad kidneys. Told her I won ""best kidneys"" in my high school yearbook. She didnt laugh. We didnt talk again"
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