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Joke of the Day

"What do German women's lingerie and Africa have in common? Ze-bras!"

"A group of Jewish women are eating at a diner. Their waitress walks by and asks ""Is anything alright?"""

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And rape. Also, the dark. And being buried alive. Mondays. Most people, too. (and insects)"

"I'm really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I just don't know Y I'll show myself the door."

"If your toilet paper roll is on the wrong way, I'll fix it and then never come over again."

"A cabbage, a faucet, and a tomato had a race. The cabbage was ahead, the faucet was running, and the tomato tried to catch up."

"Did you here about the priest? He broke his organ on a hymn"

"""Fruit OR Vegetable?"" *pic of apple* fruit. *pic of carrot* vegetable *pic of Ryan Seacrest on life support* oh geez idk"

"Where do cats go once they have used up all nine of their lives? Purrgatory."

"What did Patrick Stewart say when he was given a tortoise for his birthday? Please, take it back. I don't like getting attached to animals. Especially when they only live 100 years."