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Joke of the Day

"Did you here about the priest? He broke his organ on a hymn"

"He said he was a Guardian of the galaxy, I thought that was pretty cool until I realised he was a security guard in a Samsung shop."

"I made my girlfriend cry the other day. I called her son a bloody disappointment. Apparently she's very sensitive about her miscarriage."

"Subway is rolling out a new signature sub. Ask your sandwich artist for the 'Jared'. It is served with less then 13 grams of fat."

"Why doesn't Oedipus curse? Because he kisses his mother with that mouth"

"If Apple Saudi Arabia made a Wrestling Game, it would be called... iSlam."

"My boss noticed I shaved before coming in to the office today then he told me if i wanted to keep my job I would have to start keeping my pants on"

"Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross? A: So it could become a first-aid kit."

"What kind of ant can count? An account*ant*."

"Help your friends diet by replacing the light in their fridge with an air horn."