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Joke of the Day

"Me: *Wrong Turn Siri: Recalculating Route Me: *Wrong Turn Siri: Recalculating Route Me: *Wrong Turn Siri: You're on your own, Idiot."

"I just yawned so loud, I think I called a boat in."

"Do you think Apple's next phone will be a 6S?"

"being a writer is a great job if you love looking at a blinking cursor and wishing you were dead."

"I saw this incredible color in a dream, But it was just a pigment of my imagination."

"100 ways to reach me: 1.) Text Me. 2.) Call Me. 2.) E-Mail. 3.) FB .... 98.) Homing Pigeon. 99.) Signal Flares. 100.) Voice Mail"

"Jared Fogle asked me a question. ""On a scale of 1-10, what's your age?"""

"Why don't anteaters get sick? Because they're full of anty-bodies !"

"Serial Killer What Do You call a man that breaks into a neighbor's house to stab Cereal boxes? A Cereal Killer!"

"What do mathematicians and ravers have in common They both search for X"