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Joke of the Day

"Another way that succes is like pregnancy Women have to get it from men."

"5: ""Why is the moon so bright?"" Me: ""It's not, it's pretty dim actually."" Moon: ""I heard that."""

"Test results are in, you might want to have a seat ""I'd rather stand"" Are you sure? You have ""Falls Down When Gets Bad News"" disease *Thud*"

"I bet you I could stop gambling."

"TIFU at Subway - accidentally sent someone to the ER Oops, wrong sub"

"What is the closest thing similar to a woman having a period? Your salary. It also comes once a month, and lasts about 5 days. And if it doesn't come, it means you are in big trouble."

"Why is New Jersey called the Garden State? Cause you're always guardin' your wallet, guardin' your car, and guardin' your house."

"My girlfriend keeps saying that it's not working out. I said, ""well, you haven't gone to the gym for a while, have you?"""

"What's Sarah Palin's favorite thing to do in the summertime? Parah Salin."

"I just won an innuendo competition! I had to beat off some stiff competition though"