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Joke of the Day
"Why is the pussy slit verticaly and not horizontaly? So it doesn't clap when running."
Next Joke
"I shouldn't. Ambien: YES. You should. But I'm naked. A: EXACTLY. Ok, fine. *stands up* I HAVE A REASON THESE TWO SHOULD NOT BE WED!"
"I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist"
"What's the difference between a Pakistani elementary school and an Al Qaeda training camp? Don't ask me, I just fly the drone."
"I fired a man named Diarrhea today... His shit wasn't together"
"*pregnant wife wakes up* I think my water broke *I hide the Kool-Aid packet and water jug I spilled in bed* Let's go to the hospital"
"Hell hath no fury like woman tagged in a Facebook photo that makes her look fat."
"If grandmothers say ""love you to the moon and back"" Do gay men say ""love you to Uranus and back""?"
"What is an Eskimos best friend? pol ice"
"Q) I have ten arms, eight legs and 22 feet. what am I? A) A liar."