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Joke of the Day

"Chopping Onions I walked into the kitchen to see my Dad chopping Onions up. As soon as I saw him, I started crying because Onions is my dog."

"What's the difference between a waterproofer and a porn star? Eventually, a waterproofer stops coming home with cock all over them. Forgive my accent, I meant caulk. (My first waterproofing joke)"

"I once sent nude pictures to everyone in my contacts list. Not only was it embarrassing... It cost me a fortune in stamps."

"So a guy comes into a bar... oh wait or was it a horse? Ok so a guy cums into a horse. yaaa obviously works better as a spoken joke"

"is Quentin Tarantino directing 2016?"

"According to the latest statistics, most accidents with toasters and bathtubs happen at home."

"What would /u/doubledickdude's band be called? The Tu-Wang Clan"

"In light of situations in the Middle East, I think some humor may be called for How do Muslims like their eggs? Sunni side up."

"My friend took me to a twilight fencing class. I couldn't really see the point."

"What's the difference between ignorance and indifference? I don't know and I don't care!"