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Joke of the Day

"If ""The Breakfast Club"" were filmed today, it would be a silent movie about 5 teens looking at their phones."

"What do you call a bad ass phone that doesn't work? Off the hook. (It's stupid but I did make it up)"

"Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty, and money can buy a lot of other really cool stuff, so try to have some at all times."

"How do you say no in German? Square root of 81"

"A Jew boy asks his poppa for fifty dollars... Poppa Jew says ""Forty dollars, well what do you need thirty dollars for?"""

"Pauly D from Jersey Shore was at the Dance party where Chuck Norris invented the Electric Slide. His hair is now permanently stuck in a blowout position."

"Why does ISIS call camels ""Ships of the Desert""? Because they are full of ISIS seamen."

"SON: Daddy, I keep hearing noises from my closet. I think a monster's in there. ME: Yeah, why do you think mom and I chose the other room?"

"Knock, Knock... The creator of the Knock Knock joke should get a Nobel Prize."

"For twenty years my wife and I were very happy people... ...then we met."