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Joke of the Day

"TIFU by putting my dildo in the dishwasher She enjoyed the dildo, but my wife really doesn't like to be referred to as ""the dishwasher"""

"How did the farmer find his wife? He tractor down."

"How was 9/11 an inside job? If the planes came from the outside."

"I walked up to a lady and asked... ...""Can I smell your feet?"" ""No."" ""Oh,"" I said, ""Must be your pussy I smell then."""

"What did the psychic velociraptor say to his friend? ""Dino what you're thinking."""

"Omg someone broke into my professor's house & stole his laptop so my class today has been cancelled. I gotta find this person & thank him."

"What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow? I have no idea but I wouldn't milk it."

"Does Batman make this look bad? [http://i.imgur.com/aNurRdN.jpg](http://i.imgur.com/aNurRdN.jpg) I personally think it's funny, but it is pretty fucked up."

"In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized."

"What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize."