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Joke of the Day

"Omg someone broke into my professor's house & stole his laptop so my class today has been cancelled. I gotta find this person & thank him."

"whats the diffrence between a tornado and a divorce in the south? nothing. sombodys losing a trailer!"

"Whats the best part of having sex with a transvestite? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through."

"When you say ""9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans"" all I hear is ""there's a bear out there who knows how to use matches."""

"The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of Charades. And then all your friends feel bad, because they kept yelling ""Stroke!"""

"What do Libyan people put in their TV remotes? Tripoli batteries."

"My New Year's resolution is to stop eating so much candy, so I can focus more on cookies."

"The early bird gets the worm. But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until 10:30."

"In Sweden paternity leave is a big thing. And it is very challenging, almost every father loses 23lb in the first few weeks. They have no idea where the baby is."

"During the '72 World Series, who took the most balls to the face? Liberace"