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Joke of the Day

"Did you know Achilles was a runway model? He was fired because of his walk. He had a problem with heels."

"My wife deserved it... She didn't let me wank, I had to beat something!"

"I will always remember the last thing my Grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket... He said- ""How far do you think I can kick this bucket""?"

"What did the VW spokeswoman say after the EPA tester discovered the emissions discrepancy? Nothing, she was embarrassed."

"What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches"

"If you're ever interested in having a near death experience just tell a girl she's not hot enough to be that crazy."

"I was looking for some camouflage trousers earlier... But I couldn't find any"

"If I rape a prostitute, Is it shoplifting?"

"Why did France really surrender to Germany? *Hitler was being Vichy.* [Just thought of this earlier in the shower... Had gas ever since.]"

"I suffer from terrible insomnia But on the bright side it's only three more sleeps till Christmas."