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Joke of the Day

"Why did France really surrender to Germany? *Hitler was being Vichy.* [Just thought of this earlier in the shower... Had gas ever since.]"

"Why should you never run in front of a bus? You will get tired."

"I celebrated 4/20 on January 5th. I know how to reduce fractions."

"Love voicemails from my grandma that start with ""hello?....HELLO??..."" and end with her trying to dial another number."

"4-year-old: Why does mom always yell at you? Me: Marriage is complicated. 4: Is it because you're stupid?"

"Top Five Creepy Things: 5) Dark and stormy nights 4) Spiders 3) Cars with eyelashes 2) Decaf drinkers 1) People who take one bite of cake"

"How do you catch a Swedish fish? With a gummy worm as bait"

"What's the hardest part about working as a nurse or doctor at a women's hospital? When you ask the patients ""what's the problem?"" They'll say ""nothing"""

"How many redditors does it take to make a good joke? Three. One to post it, the second to post a better punchline in the comments, and the third to complain that it's a repost."

"Why did the baker have stinky hands? He kneaded a poo"