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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a snail on a ship? A snailor. hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha"

"A guy tells his doctor ""I have a good pee every morning at 7.. ""And a good bowel movement at 8."" Doctor says ""OK so what's the trouble?"" Man says ""I don't get out of bed till 9!"""

"[First Date] Me: so can I see you again? Her: I had a nice time but I don't think so Me: *stops holding in stomach*"

"Me: I think you might have schizophrenia Me: No I don't"

"How many gorillas does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but it takes a shitload of lightbulbs."

"What do you call two doctors with colds? An ironic paradox."

"I would make an alliance of agnostics... but I'm not sure how I feel about that."

"I lost 7 followers today. It's nice to know some people are finally reading my tweets"

"What's it called when a fedora wearing neckbeard gets sick? M'alady"

"I went to an Easter Egg hunt without a permit... ...They caught me poaching eggs."