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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and one is a pause at the end of a clause."

"That touchdown dance is exactly the same as mine when I wake up in a guy's apartment and his furnished apartment has a nice view."

"Want to know why? Or do you want to know z?"

"Why is Russia a very fast country ? Because the people are always Russian !"

"What is the best way to cut a mango? With a knife!"

"A John gets crabs from a 10$ hooker... he goes back to complain, and the hooker tells him ""what did you expect for 10$, lobster?"""

"A priest and a rabbi are walking and spot a little boy The priest says, ""let's fuck him."" The rabbi says, ""out of what?"""

"WIFE: I got us this new candle ME: sweet. What flavor is it? W: don't you mean 'what scent is it?' ME (with a mouthful of candle wax): What?"

"How do you make a cheeseburger sad? Make it with blue cheese!"

"knock knock nice try kiddo, i'm homeless"