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Joke of the Day

"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize Ayy"

"I ran out of bread this morning, so I asked my Indian neighbor if he had any But he said he had naan..."

"Clark Kent: Only kryptonite can kill me. Perry: What do you mean? Can't regular things kill you? Clark: Oh shit. Which guy am I right now!?"

"What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate? A marsbar!"

"They say that the best airing time is 20:00... ...but I think 19:59 is the real prime time."

"Which weighs more, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of bricks? The tonne of feathers, because not only do you carry the feathers, you have to carry the burden of what you did to those poor birds."

"Take your time, Officer. I have nothing but respect for the law. Your imminent death on this dark side street can wait."

"I've got a job for Victoria... Well, *had* a job..."

"I bought a fitbit that's connected to the GPS in my car. Even though I punch in coordinates to a restaurant, it always takes me to the gym."

"What did Dr Dre say to his wife during Netflix and chill? Hope you're ready for the next episode"