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Joke of the Day

"I spent the night on a 4th dimensional alien ship. Surprisingly the surroundings were very familiar. Except in the bathroom they had a glory cube."

"If you take meat from a calf... ... it could either be veal or below-knee."

"If Oliver Stone is being a stone and Michael Bay is being a bay, then what is Anthony Weiner being? Bullied"

"My wife and I said we would only smoke after sex.... I have had the same pack of cigarettes since 2007, im starting to get worried about my wife though shes been going through 3 packs a day!"

"Girl, are you a parking ticket? Because I want to throw you aside and forget about you forever."

"""Get a womb!"" - me when I see two newborns making out."

"Two men walk into a bar.... ...the third one sees this and ducks."

"A drunk is brought to court... The judge says ""you've been brought here for drinking"" to which the drunk replies ""when can we start!"""

"Why did the marijuana addict always turn his supply packet around when buying it? He heard the grass is greener on the other side"

"Went out dressed as a chicken last night and got with a girl who was dressed as an egg and a life-long question was answered... Turns out, it was the chicken!"