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Joke of the Day
"I finally stopped my roomate from biting his nails. All i had to do was make him wear shoes."
Next Joke
"Why do American tourists talk so loudly? So that they can hear each other over their clothes"
"""Always a housewife, never a house,"" the shed sighs as she's installed next to a mansion. No one was ever going to call her ""home""..."
"Gluten Margarine, Reddit! That's Food-German for ""good morning""."
"Pushed too hard against my eardrum with a Q-tip and reset my brain."
"Eric Clapton's son was a prolific writer by the age of 4 and a half... He did 49 stories in 7 seconds."
"What's a priests least favorite thing about New Years? The balls drop."
"Mirror Mirror on the Wall... What is my focal point?"
"Dance like you won't be turned into a gif."
"What's a feminist's favorite subject? Trigger-nometry"