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Joke of the Day

"Why do feminists only drive cars with automatic transmissions? It pains them to have standards."

"Did you hear about the chickpea freedom fighters? They call themselves Hummas."

"I just finished deadlifting 1000 pounds off the ground. For you Americans, that's 1275 dollars. It's my most expensive lift to date."

"Who looks after the EuroDisney website? Mick e-mouse."

"What do you call a smoking hooker? A hookar."

"Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one."

"What do you call a short clairvoyant person who just broke out of prison? A small medium at large."

"Att'n birds in my yard: the one to the LEFT of the feeder is for drinking, the one to the RIGHT is for bathing. Get it together you guys."

"What did one tonsil say to the other? Get dressed a doctor is taking us out to night."

"Honey, am I fat? Of course not! You just interact a bit more with the Higgs field."