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Joke of the Day
"Damn, girl! Is that a mirror in your pocket?... ...You conceited bitch!"
Next Joke
"Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame that they'll never meet..."
"[meeting] BOSS: We need a name that gives us a good ad slogan ME: Perhapselline? MY NEMESIS GARY: Maybelline? B: You're incredible, Gary"
"The Force can make you lift a spaceship out of the swamp, but proper sentence structure teaching, it can not."
"You are a sad, strange little man... That's what she said!"
"It's annoying how mirrors are always all like, ""Hey, c'mere. I wanna show you something gross about you."""
"In the expression "" romantic dinner "" for women key word is "" romantic "" and for men - "" dinner""."
"[dinner w/friends] ""How long you two been married?"" It's been thirt- (wife shaking head) teenish twenty- (still shaking) for a long time."
"I'm going to name my first daughter karma, Being a bitch already runs in the family."
"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I don't want to peanut butter my dick up your ass."