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Joke of the Day

"Seeing your ex go through what they put you through. Priceless.."

"2: Where mommy? Me: Mommy's at a meeting. 2: Mommy is meat? Me: No. Well...yes, but only if we ever get stranded on an island. 2: Ok."

"Got bucked off my high horse. Now I only have contusions of grandeur."

"There's this hot girl in my college writing class. Her body is a 10, but her intro and conclusion need some work."

"Have you heard about the newly developed French tank? It has 3 forward gears and 16 reverse"

"Bruce Willis found dead.... ....bored with acting"

"Why do so few men end up in Heaven? They never stop to ask directions."

"I don't know why, but the record for oldest person seems to be cursed. Every time someone gets it, they die shortly afterwards."

"The difference between a Life Scout and an Eagle Scout. A Life Scout is ready for anything. The Eagle Scout is ready for Murphy's Law."

"Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on."