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Joke of the Day

"Got bucked off my high horse. Now I only have contusions of grandeur."

"I Left My Job I used to be a banker but I left because I lost interest."

"Dear diary, My date got really excited when I said I wanted to cook for him. Apparently Meth wasn't what he expected. Dating is bull shit"

"I asked a pregnant woman if she would have sex with me. She said ""no, I don't do threesomes""."

"Shopping for Melons My wife sent me to the supermarket with a grocery list, but when I unfolded and read it, all it said was ""melons"". I guess it was the honey dew list."

"What is the difference between a refrigerator and a gay man? A refrigerator doesn't fart when you take your meat out of it."

"What muscle do Egyptian soldiers generally lose control of, shortly before major battles? The sphinxster ...."

"Why was the divorce lawyer pro-gay marriage? Because any marriage is good for business!"

"I Knew a One-Legged Girl I knew a one-legged girl who worked at a brewery She was in charge of the hops"

"is this already a joke? Why don't pastry chefs buy taylor made cigarettes? Because they profiterole their own"