99115

Joke of the Day

"""If you removed all the arteries, veins, & capillaries from a person's body, and tied them end-to-end, the person will die."" -- Neil deGrasse Tyson https://twitter.com/neiltyson"

"A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, ""Can I park here?"" ... ... ""No"" says the cop. ""What about all these other cars?"" ""They didn't ask!"""

"Tower: Lufthansa 893 you're number one check for workers on the taxiway. Pilot: Roger ..... We've checked they're all working."

"Why are aspirins white? Because they actually work."

"psychology joke How many psycho analyists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, provided the light bulb is ready to change."

"What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment."

"Shoveling snow would be so much more fun if it were porn."

"My girlfriend was devastated to find out that my mates call me The Love Machine' because I'm terrible at tennis."

"""Choas Theory""-themed restaurant: Eating Disorder"

"Whats the difference between a preschool and a taliban camp? I don't know man. I just fly the drones."