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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a preschool and a taliban camp? I don't know man. I just fly the drones."

"Last month, I asked my dad if I could get a tattoo. He told me to get it somewhere that didn't matter, so I got it done in Oklahoma."

"TIL I haven't actually been having conversations with my furniture... My toaster told me"

"A shipment of Viagra was hijacked on the way to the depot. The police have warned the public to be on the lookout for a gang of hardened criminals."

"Why did Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo Drizzle"

"How much coke did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill two and a half men."

"If u want to get out of a conversation in public just say ""I've gotta take this"" then steal the nearest for-sale item and get arrested."

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A Quarter-Pounder with Cheese."

"What's a storm trooper's favorite date? March 4th"

"Umm, when someone posts that they're having a bad day, I don't think it's proper Facebook etiquette to ""like"" their status."