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Joke of the Day

"What are you doing on Valentines Day? I'm getting my hands massaged."

"Did you guys hear about the award winning farmer? Apparently he was outstanding in his field. [modified repost]"

"If at first you don't succeed...... ......then skydiving is *not* for you."

"I wish corn would teach other foods how to explode into a different food that's 10 times better."

"something that I miss about being a child is people asking me what my favourite shape is. adults don't do this.it's a rhombus. u don't care"

"What musical instrument do people with STDs play? The herpsichord."

"Why did the shark keep swimming in circles It had nosebleed."

"I'm not condescending! Try and count how many times I've been condescending! Exactly; you can't cause you're a dumbass."

"2 blondes are on their way to Disneyland... they see a sign reading ""Disneyland left"". So they cried a bit and headed home."

"Whoever stole my dildo can go fuck themselves."