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Joke of the Day

"psychology joke How many psycho analyists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, provided the light bulb is ready to change."

"whats the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? ...one is a little lighter"

"Either my cat is speaking English or that was not a vitamin I took...."

"Woman next to me at coffee shop just asked a guy who's farther away to watch her computer for a sec. Devastated."

"Why do mermaids wear seashells? because D shells dont fit"

"What did the egg say when it was about to be hard boiled? It's gonna take a while to get me hard, because I just got laid by a chick!"

"What's the difference between clever and stupid ? you can't wank yourself clever."

"I came home from work and finally caught the filthy bitch red handed. So I asked my daughter to please wash her hands if she masturbates on her period."

"Son, I've made some questionable decisions in life & I must go away for awhile to face the consequences. How I tell my 5yo I'm off to poop"

"Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam's banana. "