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Joke of the Day

"The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher."

"the elevator business is great It has its ups and downs"

"Everything has to be related in a woman: if the mouth shuts, the legs open."

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar fifty. Deer nuts are always under a buck... I'll see myself out now."

"Got head from a Midget last night... I guess you could say I was blown out of proportion..."

"I've been reading the thesaurus a lot lately... because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage."

"Why Did the Ebola Patient Cross the Road? Trick question. There are no roads in Africa."

"What does the Personal Computer and German people have in common? They're both the master race!"

"What did the pickle say to the cucumber? Come on in the water's brine!"

"Her: You like shopping? Me: Oh god yes! Her: What's your favorite place? Me: The grocery store. There is a whole aisle of just cheese!"