99033

Joke of the Day

"(Creating Atheists) God: Make some humans Sciencey Angel: Will they believe in you? God: No, but they'll be so surprised when we meet!"

"""Nobody move!"" - 19th century photographer"

"Do you know what happens when gay marriage is legalized? BREAKING NEWS: California's drought is over. Water supply flourishing from the tears of the racist, homophobic, and conservative southerners"

"How to piss off an archeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him to determine the period."

"So if pro's are the opposite of con's... Then what is the opposite of progress?"

"What's that there? got you"

"My girlfriend got a tattoo of a shell on her thigh Every time I lay my ear on it I can smell the sea."

"Why did the Mexican push his wife off the bridge? Tequila"

"Use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye... use chemicals to remove Polish and you're literally Hitler"

"Just took a power nap on a park bench. Made $7.30 in change."