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Joke of the Day

"So if pro's are the opposite of con's... Then what is the opposite of progress?"

"My dog is disabled so I have to hold him up when he pees. Long story short, I'm getting really good at writing my name in the snow."

"LPT: Never take advice from people on Reddit. Not even this."

"My son has a play-date today & the mom said to dress him in holiday colors so he's in all black & I'm telling her we worship the dark lord."

"Make like a tree and... Make like a tree and use photosynthesis to turn sunlight into energy and use that energy to go and fuck off"

"Why did the chicken cross the road?... It chickened out. (Sorry if repost) (Also, first post so be nice :) )"

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? ISIS. Definitely ISIS."

"Why did the chicken cross the rhoad... To get to the other island."

"After all this Starbucks cup controversy, if Taco Bell was smart, they'd start serving their burritos in little cardboard mangers"

"Now that cell phones are becoming more and more waterproof, pretty soon it will be okay to push people into pools again..."