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Joke of the Day

"A cauliflower is a plant explosion in extremely slow motion."

"How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? All of them, skyscrapers can't jump."

"What do you do when you see an enemy with half a face? Reload and shoot again!"

"[starbucks] me: can i take some wifi home with me? barista: um. sure(?) me: [holds tupperware container in the air & closes lid] thanks."

"Most of the jokes posted here are like gay muslims Beaten to death."

"A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet, but I can only walk so fast."

"Wanna know how I escaped Iraq? Iran"

"Q: What do you call the hair of a centaur? A: Humane."

"Already resenting that I have to wake up tomorrow."

"Hi my name is Richard. I'm a husband and it's been 3 months since my last decision."